Saturday, February 23, 2008

Dead Snails?

I think our snails are dead. How can we know for sure? I mean I only have at least four snails and like a month ago when I last checked I had like 200. but now i only have 4 and they don't move that much. I mean snails never really move so I don't know if they're dead or not.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Massacre of Cube 4698

A month or so back I bought myself some dwarf puffer fish for my tank at work. These cute little guys hail from India and are extremely smart. Never cared for them before and admittedly I wasn't sure what was to come from owning them. I bought them anyway due to the shear fact they seemed way too interested in what I was doing. Thought they'd make good cubical mates... they'd give me something to play with.

They ate all of my snails. Micro snails -crunched. Ramhorns - pulled from their shells. Trumpet snails - cleanly snipped out from their spiracle homes. Apple snails - dying of hunger, they ventured out of their shells despite only to find dwarf puffers attacking them with teeth one would only imagine on a hamster. I never saw it coming. And hopefully due to the under developed light sensors snails use for eyes... hopefully they didn't see it coming either.

Let this be a lesson. Don't purchase dwarf puffer fish. No matter what anyone tells you. They may be cute. They may appear to want to be inquisitive. But all they're doing is using their mind tricks to get you to turn off the lights so they can eat every last snail.

Damn puffers...

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Are you out there?

Dear Person Who Reads This Blog From A United Nations IP Address,

Hi! First of all, thanks for reading my blog—I appreciate your patronage. Your continued reading of my blog has me curious about who you are.

You are a fantastic mystery to me that I would love to solve. I would be absolutely tickled if you would contact me and identify yourself. Do I know you? Do you know someone I know? How did you find my blog? Why are you on such an antiquated operating system? These are questions I'm dying to ask you.

Curiously yours,


Monday, October 15, 2007

Big snail, smaller snail, smallest snail.

Right before I took this video, the big yellow snail was trying to eat the Ramshorn out of his shell! It was shocking.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Long time no snog.

We (all of the contributors of this Snog) have all been meaning to write in the Snog, but we're lame and have been distracted by our "lives."

I want to take a photo of my tank now that I've cleaned it out, added a bunch of plants (thanks Lo-g!), and gotten a big fat yellow apple snail (thanks Lo-g!). It's looking fabulous and the snails seem so happy.

I also moved Tara's snail vase back to her desk, where it's displayed more prominently. I also gave her little baby snails a chunk of algae disk so that they'll grow big and strong.

And now, just because it's been so long, here's a blast from the past:

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Lucky Snail's Foot

Today I was extended a job offer from a stellar company with some exciting opportunities. Now, you might not believe me, but I put Ebony and Ivory (you remember Ebony, right? I'll introduce Ivory later this week) in a little zip lock bag and stuffed them in my pocket for my interview. You know - can't leave my handicap children alone and all. But I'm pretty sure they're my new good luck charms. Without them I doubt I would have breezed through the interview with such panache and charm.

So go out there, dear readers! Go out there and pick up your very own lucky snail and take him with any time you're in need of luck. Because I promise you... the snail gods will look down on you and smile.

(But don't take them to a bar in hopes of "getting lucky". The overwhelming luck you receive will bring the potential one-night stands in close proximity where they may possibly hump your leg... and essentially crushing your new found good luck charms. A little common sense is sometimes better than a little luck!)

A snail out of water.

Knowing about my fascination, cultivation, and love of snails, a co-worker brought me a pretty good sized outdoor snail and left it on my desk for me to find this morning. I put him on a paper plate and watched as he stretched his antennae to sniff out his new surroundings. After watching him for a bit I took him outside and set him in an area that I trust will suit him better.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

I have a question

I've had a few snails grow up to be almost regular snail size and then all of a sudden they disappear. Where do they go? Are there rogue snails hiding in between the cushions of my couch? Has my girlfriend been secretly snacking on them? Where are my snails?

Monday, June 4, 2007

Snails: Our Children of the Deep

ebony the greatMeet Ebony. She's one of my black mystery snails. She eats anything in her way. Often times she enjoys brisk walks crawls on my lilies. And occasionally Ebony enjoys a gentle foot rub.

Despite having Ebony and enjoying nearly every minute of our time together I've still yet to grasp exactly what it is about snails that's so... great. They kind of just eat, move, eat, breed and poop. But maybe that's what is so amazing and enthralling about our squishy (I accidentally squished one...) aquatic friends. These guys are so predictable and "dumb" that we cling on to them as if they were our own mentally challenged children. Our squishy, breeding, plant eating children.

Ebony has this fascination with racing to the top of my aquarium. But once she reaches the top and her little snail eyes notice she's got no where else to go she quickly pulls herself back into her shell and sinks to the bottom. Rinse and repeat. She does this for hours. If she wasn't already equipped with her own shell I would be jumping at the chance to fashion her a safety helmet and mini bite guard. It would be an awesome helmet with racing stripes and shiny reflectors for her night time activities.

Maybe snails aren't our handicap children. Or at least chances are my fellow snail owners won't be viewing their pets as children. But Ebony has found her place in my heart... as my mentally challenged child of the deep.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Jacob's snail update

My snails are getting pretty big. I have at least 59 snails in there. Well 59 egg sacs at least. They're doing pretty well. The biggest is named "tiny". I mean he's like as big as a button on a calculator. They're all pretty healthy. The plant has been growing lately. The egg sacs I mentioned before are starting to hatch. Night after night I see a snail creep out of there at like 8 oclock or so. Well this has been.......

JACOB'S SNAIL UPDATE.........donh donh da doohhnnnnn.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

SNAIL FAD TAPERS TO A CRAWL snailenasia bill floated as shelters fill

It’s true, like post Easter bunnies and Dalmatians after Disney movie blockbusters my snails are suffering from what some might call sneglect. Blame it on a mountain of projects at work, the sexy Seattle spring, or typical American fickleness but the bottom line is my snails have been sitting in their own poop for 3 weeks. Honestly I haven’t noticed a plummet in snail moral.

Friday, March 23, 2007

What's in a name?

I've nicknamed the snail of mine who has an egg sack on his shell "Spooge," but we decided he should have a proper name for when the egg sack has long since gone away. I settled on Winston for a first name, but needed to come up with a really great last name for him because I wanted him to have roman numerals on the end. At work we were discussing some naming options and were trying to think of what the British royal family's name is and realized they don't have one. The closest thing they have to a last name is "of Whales." So, after much balking at the british royal family I settled on a name for Spooge:

Winston "of Whales" Mountbatten-Windsor IV

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Now what?

I came home today and saw that my snails have made new snails. At least twelve. How many snails can a tank hold before it becomes one giant snail?

I think, in general, snails kind of gross me out.

Baboons don't kill snails, people do. Me in particular.

Man, what is with me killing snails? I just keep doing it and it's driving me crazy.

Remember how I mentioned that my baboon tank killed all the snails in it, even when I washed it all out and filled it up a'fresh? Well I tried again, this time with new rocks, a well rinsed tank, and one very well rinsed plant. And what did I get? Two dead snails. Within minutes. When my snails die they do a little snail death dance. It's kind of like a spasm where they try to get out of their own shell or something. It's sad.

What oh what am I doing wrong? My tainted plastic tank theory seems to be shot since there can't be hardly any remnant of plastic baboon toxin in there. Last time was with filtered water, this time it was with tap water (which very likely could be the culprit this time around). I'm going to let this tap water sit for a few days and put some drops in it to let it de-chlorine-ify and then try with another couple of snails. If they die instantly I think my snail husbandry licence needs to be revoked. The little shits will just have to live in their swampy breeding jar for the rest of eternity and never see the glory of my lovely new tank.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Clean tank!

My snail tank was literally cloudy with snails and snail larva and I was getting a little grossed out, so today I rolled up my sleeves and went about cleaning my tank.
  1. I removed the plant first and put it in a Tupperware container with some of the tank water.
  2. Then I started picking the snails off the side of the tank and rocks and placing them in the container with the plant.
  3. The baby snails are the hardest to pick up and move, so I'm more than certain that I lost several of them in the move.
  4. After the snails and plants were out I drained the water and put the rocks into a different Tupperware container.
  5. I cleaned out the tank with a sponge (no soap, no scratchy sponge) and then rinsed it several times.
  6. I dried it off, including the inside so that I could wipe off any remaining attached debris or egg sacks.
  7. Then I started running hot water into the container holding the rocks; I kept the water running hard and hot as I moved the rocks around inside the container with my hand. The water spilled over the side of the container carrying with it all kinds of disgusting things. I did this until the water ran clear.
  8. I put a couple bottles of room temperature water into the tank.
  9. I placed the plants back into the tank and then covered their roots with rocks.
  10. I filled in the other areas with rocks and made them even.
  11. Then I picked all of the snails out of the container and put them in their tank.
  12. I filled the tank back up with water.
Now the snails are busy checking out the new terrain in fresh clean water. I think the big, older ones are pretty relieved to be rid of some of the egg sacks and larva; I know I am.

Monday, March 19, 2007

More than a gift of quick thrills, The gift of snails.

After many weeks of laborious efforts, my English pond snails have finally reproduced! My snail decanter was full of baby snails last week, and I decided to put a small tank together for M at the front desk.

When giving the gift of snails I like to remind my friends that not only are they receiving a gift of hours of fun and excitement, but also a small piece of our collective culture as human beings. Here are 3 fun snaily facts (snacts) I like to surprise my friends with.

1) Did you know that in Michelangelo’s Moses, Moses is pictured with a snail’s ‘horns’ and snaily demeanor?
2) Even as late as 1975 approximately 40% of Oceana residents still believed that the earth and its residents were balanced on the back of a giant snail. This cosmic mollusk was believed to consume entire worlds with a lick of its tongue.
3) In the ancient Navajo creation myth, snail girl was celebrated above all other animal spirits. According to the Navajo when the earth was created snail girl brought water from the underworld in her shell for streams, lakes, and glaciers. A pretty shoddy case for water conservation, even for a 10 thousand year old civilization, but a testament to mankind’s fascination with the snail none the less.

For more information on snails and their lofty postion in our religious history visit this great site!

Boy, do I have a snog for you!

Those snails are crazy!

Now, what I am about to show you is something I've never seen before. On Friday I noticed something that I thought I was hallucinating; one of my largest snails is carrying the eggs of another snail. So apparently, one snail was knocked up then climbed on top of the biggest snail in the tank, and laid all his/her eggs on THE SHELL of the snail! I picked the snail out of the tank to get a good look, but the photo I took of him in the tank is much better quality. Enjoy Snoggers!

Baboons Kill Snails

It's sad but true: Baboons kill snails.

I recently moved my happy family of snails from their swampy little jar to a nice new exciting jungle tank. Only to have them spasm around for a while and then die. At first I thought I had shocked them because the water was a tad on the warm side. Yeah, being picked up with chopsticks from your swamp and dropped into a tepid jungle tank can be traumatic, I know. But I added some cold water and figured they'd recover. Then I dropped in some new teenager snails just to prove it. Well, they all died.

Fast forward by about a week. I finally got around to cleaning out the dirty tank. I washed the tank, rinsed off the rocks for like 5 minutes, filled it with fresh water and put the plants back in there, SANS BABOON. And what happened? I killed 5 more snails within an hour. Shit!

It looks like I'll be waiting for some eggs to hatch in my swamp jar. Baboons suck.

Saturday, March 17, 2007


Hi Carollani it's me Jacob. Molecule is doing well. How are your snails? Have they gotten bigger?


Bigshot the biggest snail

An introduction

Here's Valerie Plame making her way across a fake plant leaf. If you look closely, you'll see I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby eyeing her from the red rock. I can't remember if the rock was red when I bought it. The plant is kind enough to point Scooter out in this shot. Joseph Wilson is off in the corner writing a book or something.

I need to get some real plants for my snails. The fake stuff just isn't cutting it anymore, functionally or aesthetically. As you can see, fake plant extraction will be super simple since I just gently set them atop the blue rocks.

Snails poop a lot.

Snail me, I'm Irish.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

A while back CJ and I talked about making snail merchandise, and one of the items we came up with was a shirt that said, "Snail me, I'm Irish!" We discussed whether the "Snail" should be the word snail or an image of a snail and I think we decided on the image. I think we should have these made for this special holiday!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Lights out!

The light in my snail tank died a week or so ago and I just haven't gotten around to replacing it yet, so my snails have been "chillin" in a dark and colder tank. They've adapted quite well to their dimmer lifestyle, but I don't get to enjoy them as much as I usually do because I can't always see them.

Hopefully I'll get a new light for the tank soon, so I can go back to watching my snails instead of working.